WHY ARE WOMEN EXPECTED TO ACCEPT & FOLLOW THE RULES

Why are women expected to accept and follow the 'rules' set by their male counterparts? Here, I am referring only to married women (for the time being). Why are they expected to be the consensual or mute partners in a situation which invites any sort of argument or disagreement? Why does it create an unpleasant and uncongenial environment within the house, if she even tries to speak her mind? Is it the price, a woman pays for having a mind of her own? Perhaps, men, in some parts of the world, have still not been able to reconcile with the fact that women are intellectually and spiritually stronger than their male counterparts. It is an established fact which does not need to be substantiated with any evidence, whatsoever. Perhaps they get a perverse pleasure in abusing women, who they share their lives with. Possibly, it gives a boost to their male ego, in a scenario where women are seen taking a lead everywhere, be it home or work place.

Marriage no longer a Holy union!

It makes me wonder sometimes if this has been the prime reason for the debacle of the institution of marriage, which used to be revered as a pure and Holy union of two souls, once upon a time. The educated and economically self reliant women of today, are finding it tough to carve a place for themselves in their matrimonial homes, especially when they are expected to be subservient to their husbands and the in-laws. Here, again, I am strictly confining myself to Indian families. I could have used the word 'Eastern' instead of 'Indian' but I doubt if my observations would have applied to such a broad spectrum of people. As such I am portraying only Indian 'marital set ups' here. In the past two decades, I have seen women changing, drastically, as far as their overall attitude towards life and handling situations is concerned. They have become smarter and more vocal than ever before. The irony, however, is that their male counterparts have not changed a wee bit.

Growing Divorce rate.

This has, perhaps, been the root cause of the ever increasing divorce rate (including judicial and out of court separations ) in the Indian families. In a span of almost twenty years of legal practice, I witnessed this society passing through a difficult transition, which finally culminated in the evolution of an absolutely confused and a chaotic breed. Sandwiched between the growing financial needs of their families and their own chauvinism, the men, on one hand, permitted their wives to work for money, and on the other, still demanded to be treated as the 'Lord of the house'. This was the stage, in the transition, where the problem (least expected) crept in, unnoticed in the initial phase, but surfacing in the later stage, after having dug its poisonous jaws in the deep rooted culture of the society. To understand the situation better, let us consider a girl and boy, from almost the same family background, growing up in almost the same kind of environment, getting the same kind of education and then earning same kind of work experience or expertise in any relevant field. Would it not be unreasonable and irrational to expect the girl to (even) fake subservience, when she steps into her matrimonial home? A word of caution! Here, we are only speaking about 'subservience' which has nothing to do with 'politeness' and other virtues, which every human being is supposed to possess.

Marriage is not a boxing ring...

Is it unreasonable to expect the young woman, having a head on her shoulders, to ask for some convenient changes in the household or to disagree on certain issues which her mind does not accept as being right? In my opinion, marriage is supposed to harness mutual understanding and respect for the opinion of the better half, apart from having other essential ingredients like love, care, support and compassion. It, in no way, has to be a boxing ring where each participant focuses on winning the fight (or argument) and making his adversary lick the ground. How can one expect a marriage to survive if it is devoid of all the essential elements which are responsible for making it a blissful experience. A balanced society is supposed to have both it's limbs functioning in harmony rather than, against each other. How can a lame and a limping society be expected to progress and carve a niche for itself in the fast moving world of today? More to come in forthcoming articles. All comments ...appreciated.